Goodbye, Debt.

And here is a photo of the last time I bought myself flowers:

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The date? April 8th, 2011.

SEVEN YEARS AGO.

Granted, I’ve received flowers since then. But I haven’t worked up the nerve to buy them for myself in seven years.

It’s true that a lot has happened since then. My dad had passed away after battling cancer just the year prior. My beloved uncle passed away suddenly. My grandma (pau pau) passed away after a quick illness. My then-husband and I decided to renovate our house. Lost probably six figures in that terrible debacle. This ultimately led to the demise of what became a rocky marriage two years later – after a mere 6 months of finally being able to move back into our (still unfinished) “dream home”.

I met someone, and the day after a dream showed me that he was the one, I fell in love. Things moved quickly, and we moved in together, planned a baby, was slightly surprised when that happened right away, had said baby (complete with PPD), moved to a bigger rental, and finally, bought our townhome.

Plus, a whole bunch of other things that would take forever to list. Maybe in due time.

So yes, a lot has happened in my physical world – but nothing compared to the emotional toll those years have charged me. I completely lost myself time and again attempting to settle that bill.

But today, I’m done paying down that debt.

And finally, I can afford flowers again.

– Loss and Growth in the Mind’s Garden

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